


lay it on me

by voidstonem



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Hospital, Angst, Cancer, Chemotherapy, Donghyuck and Jaehyun are brothers, Donghyuck is sick, Fluff, Graphic Depictions of Illness, Heavy on the angst, Hurt/Comfort, I am so sorry, Johnny is a doctor, Leukemia, M/M, Mark and Johnny are Brothers, Mark is a sweetheart, Orphans, Sick Character, Sickfic, Ten is a nurse, mentions of vomit, this will be emotional but fluffy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2019-08-03 09:27:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16323608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voidstonem/pseuds/voidstonem
Summary: Mark’s older brother is a doctor. When he walks in on him treating a super cute patient, everything changes.orDonghyuck has leukemia and his brother. That's about it. Then, Mark shows up and subsequently changes his life for the better.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Remember when I said there would be more angsty markhyuck whump where my last fic came from? Of course you remember. It was like two days ago. Well, here it is.
> 
> Disclaimer: I may be a university student, but I am NOT a medical student. This is probably super inaccurate, but I have also spent my fair share of time in the hospital, so let's *pretend* this is accurate. 
> 
> Also, this literally came out of nowhere so don't blame me if it sucks lmao.

Mark is practically _running_ to the elevator when he spots Ten. He hasn’t seen his brother in two whole days, and he’s excited to be able to spend time with him.

 _Ten_ , of course, is not Mark’s older brother’s boyfriend’s real name. No, Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul is the nurse’s real name. No one calls him that, though. No one can pronounce it. _Especially not sick, weak children._

The take-out bag Mark is clutching swings at his side as he changes direction and makes his way towards Ten. It’s giving off the delicious aroma of orange chicken from Panda Express, and Mark can’t wait to share the food with his brother. It’s tradition for Mark to bring Johnny dinner at the hospital at least once every week. That way, Mark gets to spend time with his brother, and Johnny gets to take a short break from his job to enjoy cheap take-out. It’s a win-win situation.

“Ah, Mark. How was school? Did you ace that bio test? The one I helped you study for?” Ten looks entirely worn out, but his face brightens considerably when he sees Mark.

“Yeah I think I did pretty well,” replies Mark, “Thanks again for helping me.”

Mark rummages through the take-out bag and pulls out a carton of honey walnut shrimp. Ten gratefully takes the food and gestures for Mark to follow him.

“I think Johnny’s just finishing up with a patient in oncology. I can take you to him,” says Ten.

Mark just nods and follows Ten into the elevator. He’s been in this hospital loads of times before, but he still hates the atmosphere, especially in the oncology unit. The aura is just so solemn and hopeless. He hates it.

Ten stops outside of a closed door that looks like it leads to a patient’s room. There’s a bottle of hand sanitizer next to the door, and Ten grabs it and gestures for Mark to hold out his hands. Mark quickly obliges, and Ten squirts a hefty amount of the antibacterial gel onto Mark’s palms. 

It’s standard protocol.

“I need to go make rounds quick before I can eat, but you should be able to go inside. His patient is probably asleep. Just poke your head in and let Johnny know you’re here. He won’t mind,” says Ten before walking off. 

Mark feels rather uncomfortable just barging into a patient’s room, but his brother is the doctor. He hopes Ten is right and the patient is really asleep.

Mark twists the doorknob gently and slips into the room. He’s seen “Dr. Johnny” in action plenty of times before, but he wasn’t quite expecting the scene in front of him. _Especially_ because the patient looks like he’s the same age as Mark himself. He has a young face and caramel colored skin and he just can’t be much older than Mark. There’s no way.

Johnny is crouching next to his patient whispering soothing words and holding up a syringe. The teenage boy in the hospital bed is clutching a waste bin to his chest and retching violently and _fuck that looks so painful_. There’s tears and sweat running down his face, but he looks really fucking cute.

Mark freezes, partly in shock and partly in shame. He really shouldn’t be thinking like that right now. This boy is clearly in a lot of pain, and Mark is just standing there admiring his perfect lips and soft eyes.

Luckily, Johnny has his back to him, and the sick boy is too busy vomiting his guts out to notice Mark’s intrusion. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Johnny’s saying, “This is normal. Is it okay if I give you an anti-nausea shot?”

The boy nods between gags and and Johnny holds his arm still so he can administer the shot.

The next moment, Johnny turns around to grab the boy some water and sees Mark standing in the doorway.

“Mark, hi! I’ll be with you in a second,” Johnny leans forward and lowers his voice, “I’m going to help this kid get back to sleep and then we can eat.”

All Mark can do is nod because he’s stunned by how young and miserable his brother’s patient looks. 

Johnny turns back to the sick boy and rubs his back gently as his retches slow down. Mark isn’t really sure if doctors are supposed to touch their patients like that, but Johnny’s always been an advocate for the benefits of physical contact.

“I know you feel horrible, but it’ll get better, okay? You’re doing well,” whispers Johnny, and Mark feels his heart _break_ because _where are this boy’s parents?_

Johnny helps the boy sip some water and fetches him a freshly-warmed blanket. 

“Just try to relax and get some rest, okay? Remember to press the call button if you need help.”

“Thanks,” the boy says weakly. His voice is hoarse, yet unmistakably soft. 

“Sleep well, Donghyuck,” says Johnny.

_Donghyuck. So that’s his name._

It’s cute.

Johnny ushers Mark out of the room and shuts the door behind him before giving an exasperated sigh. The two of them awkwardly make their way towards Johnny’s office.

“Sometimes I really hate this job, you know,” says Johnny quietly.

Mark just looks at him. He can think of a million reasons why Johnny might hate being a pediatric oncologist. The pressure, the emotional attachment, the extremely unpleasant circumstances that he seems to find himself in so often. All of them are viable.

“That kid is _really_ sick. And he came in here all by himself.”

What the _fuck?_

“What do you mean? What about his parents?”

Johnny sighs, “The kid told us they were dead. We looked into it. He wasn’t lying. He lives with his brother, but he works a lot. He can’t be here all the time if he wants to keep paying the medical bills.”

Mark feels tears welling up behind his eyes because the situation is all too familiar.

“So, he’s like us then? An orphan?” says Mark. Johnny and Mark’s parents had died four years prior in a car crash. It was horrible and devastating, but they dealt with it. They had to.

“Yeah,” says Johnny sadly, “I feel like I need to look out for him, you know?”

Mark nods because he was only in this boy’s presence for a few short minutes, but he also feels a weird sense of responsibility overcome him. In some ways, they were in the same boat.

They’re finally at Johnny’s office, and Ten is already in there waiting for them. He doesn’t have an office of his own because he’s a nurse, so he often breaks into Johnny’s office to lay on his couch or use his microwave.

Ten kisses Johnny on the cheek and gives his butt a little smack. 

Mark fake-gags, “Come on, guys, we’re about to eat.”

Johnny laughs and ruffles Mark’s hair.

“You’re just jealous, Mark-ah. You’ll find love soon. Don’t worry,” says Johnny.

“Yeah, really, you’re too adorable. I’m surprised you stayed single this long,” Ten chuckles, and Johnny elbows him in the ribs. 

“You’ll find someone. Just maybe not in a hospital like we did,” continues Ten as he gives Johnny a kick to the shin underneath the table.

For some unknown reason to Mark, he thinks back to the caramel-skinned boy in the hospital bed. Maybe, just maybe, he _will_ find love in a hospital. It doesn’t really seem like a good idea, and it probably won’t end well, but Mark can’t help it. 

That _Donghyuck_ kid is just so adorable, and he looked like he could use a friend.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is heavy on the whump and angst. I am sorry. I promise it will get a little less angsty very soon. Also, this fic has been very hard for me to write so far. I am enjoying the challenge, but I'm not very good with this hospital stuff. So, please bear with me haha. And thanks so much for the support.

Donghyuck feels foggy, disoriented, and sore when he wakes up.

He scoots back so he can sit up in his bed and— _oh, right, he still feels nauseous, too._

It takes him a few seconds to realize he’s not alone in the hospital room. His doctor is standing a few feet away scribbling something onto his clipboard. Donghyuck senses movement to his left and— _oh._

Jaehyun is here. It’s been a few days since he’s seen his brother.

“Hyuckie, I’m so sorry I didn’t come sooner,” says Jaehyun.

Honestly, he doesn’t know how to feel. The doctor takes a few steps away in order to give them space, and Jaehyun is looking at Donghyuck with pleading eyes. He knows his brother has been working to support the two of them, but he should’ve _been here._ The doctor had spent _hours_ pumping him full of poison the day before, and Jaehyun was nowhere to be found.

But Donghyuck thinks he must have had a good reason for not being there, so all he says is, “It’s fine.”

“No, Hyuck. It’s not fine. Chemo is no joke. I should’ve came sooner.”

Donghyuck doesn’t want to have this conversation right now, so all he does is nod. His doctor must sense the tension because he makes his way over to the bed.

“Good morning, Donghyuck. You look better than you did last night. Are you feeling any better?” he asks.

“Actually, sir, I still feel like I’m gonna throw up,” says Donghyuck because his stomach has been churning all night and he’s _miserable._

“Ah, Donghyuck, I’ve told you plenty of times that you don’t need to be formal with me. We’re going to be seeing a lot of each other in the future, so you can go ahead and call me Johnny. As for the nausea, I’m afraid there’s not much more I can do for you right now. I can give you some more antiemetics tonight, but I can only administer this particular type once every twenty-four hours,” Johnny speaks to him in a pleasant, soothing tone, but it doesn’t make what he says any less irritating for Donghyuck.

Donghyuck nods and gives a sad sigh.

“I understand. Thanks, doc—uh, Johnny.”

“Of course. If you don’t mind, I would like to talk with you and your brother about a treatment schedule. Now that you’ve had one session of chemotherapy, we need to discuss whether or not you’d like to continue. Also, if you do choose to continue, we should start your next session as early as tomorrow.”

It was going to be a long day. 

Donghyuck knows, of course, that he doesn’t really have a choice. He could continue with the chemo and hope it works, or he could let the leukemia slowly kill him. Even if he did choose the latter, Jaehyun would never let him live it down.

So, Donghyuck finds himself speaking words he never thought he’d hear himself say.

“Alright, then. I want the chemo.”

~

Mark ends up getting a perfect score on his biology test, and his best friend, Renjun, hates him for it.

“Are you kidding me? I got _two_ wrong. I _can’t_ believe you got a higher score than me because your brother is fucking a nurse. I hate you, Mark Lee.”

Mark rolls his eyes.

“Next time he’s helping me, I’ll invite you over. I need to get something for Ten to thank him for saving my grade. You wanna go to Starbucks?”

“Are you saying you’re gonna pay?”

“I guess.”

An hour later, Mark’s holding a drink tray with three large hot chocolates. Renjun holds the door open for him as they enter the oncology unit. Mark figured Ten would be hanging around Johnny’s office. That’s where he usually was when he had a minute to spare. 

Mark leads Renjun down the hall as the younger boy sips at his hot chocolate. They’re passing copious amounts of patient rooms when Mark first hears it.

It was quiet. He could just _barely_ hear it, but it was definitely there. A low groan of agony meets his ears, and Mark stops in his tracks.

“Did you hear that?” he asks Renjun.

“Yeah, but this is a _hospital_. Everyone here is in pain,” says Renjun. He starts walking again, but there’s suddenly a loud crash.

“I don’t think that’s normal,” says Mark. He hurries over to the door closest to where he and Renjun were standing. All of the patient rooms have a small window on the door, so Mark leans forward and squints as he tries to make out what’s happening.

Mark sees a patient on the _floor_ next to their bed. 

And, wait, is that _Donghyuck?_

Marks look down each side of the hallway and, _fuck_ , all of the doors look the same, but Mark is sure that this was the door he went in yesterday on Ten’s orders. He looks back into the window and sees that Donghyuck must have fallen off of his bed. The boy is clearly conscious because he’s trying to pull himself back to his feet. Mark watches as Donghyuck grabs onto one of the bed’s legs and tries to hoist himself up.  


_But he can’t._

He looks really, really pale and he keeps scrunching his eyes up in pain and—

Mark winces. There’s that groan of agony again.

He starts twisting the doorknob because if Donghyuck can’t reach his bed, he can’t reach the call button.

“What the fuck are you doing?” shouts Renjun.

“He needs help,” is all Mark can say before he realizes the door is unlocked. In a matter of seconds, Mark is by Donghyuck’s side.

As Mark crouches beside him, Donghyuck looks up at him with a mixture of confusion, pain, and gratitude on his face.

“Who are you?” Donghyuck says softly.

“My name is Mark,” he says as he straightens up and pushes Donghyuck’s call button. 

Mark is about to turn back towards Donghyuck to help him back into his bed when he notices Renjun standing behind him.

“He is, like, definitely about to puke,” says Renjun. He gestures down at Donghyuck’s crumpled form on the floor.

And, sure enough, Donghyuck has one pale hand clasped firmly over his mouth.

_Fuck._

Mark lunges for the waste bin under Donghyuck’s bed and places it under his chin just before the boy gags.

Donghyuck looks like he’s trying to say _something_ between retches, but before he can get any words out, both Ten and Johnny run into the room.

“Mark? Renjun? What the _hell_ are you two doing in here?” yells Johnny. He quickly turns his attention away from them, though, when he sees Donghyuck convulsing on the floor.

Ten is quick to fetch a freshly warmed blanket and some water while Johnny gently lifts both Donghyuck and the waste bin back into the hospital bed.

The next few minutes blur together for Mark. He thinks Renjun is trying to talk to him, but all he can hear is Donghyuck spluttering to Johnny about how he had a nightmare and fell out of his bed and didn’t even have enough strength to pull himself back up. Donghyuck says something about having a migraine, and Johnny ends up offering him a sedative so he can sleep.

Less than twenty minutes later, Donghyuck is sound asleep and Johnny is looking overwhelmingly exasperated. 

“Thanks for hitting the call button,” he says eventually. “I don’t know how long he would’ve been like that if you hadn’t found him.”

“I don’t understand,” says Mark, and truly, he doesn’t. He’s never seen someone look so sick and helpless before. “What kind of cancer makes someone that sick?”

Johnny and Ten share a look, and Ten sighs.

“Kid, Johnny had to start Donghyuck on chemo yesterday.”

“You started him on chemo without his brother being there?” Mark asks. He doesn’t know much about chemo, but he does know that it’s not something you should go through alone.

“Mark-ah, I didn’t have a choice.”

“Someone _needs_ to be there for him,” says Mark. What the hell? How can Johnny willingly put a solidary teenager through something like that?

“I know, Mark, I know. I’m just trying to save his life.”

His _life._

It just now occurred to Mark that Donghyuck wasn’t just sick. His life was on the line.

_And if he wants to help Donghyuck get through this,_ Mark thinks, _he better act quickly._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Leave me a comment and let me know what you think :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I said this story will get lighter? Well, not this chapter. Sorry. This is pretty heavy on the angst. Did you really expect anything else from me, though? 
> 
> I know what you're thinking. Another chapter? So soon? And, it's long! Yes. I have a nasty cold right now so all I want to do with sit on my futon and not do anything. This chapter is the result. Don't get used to updates that are this frequent though oops.
> 
> Anyway, thanks so much to everyone who left kudos and comments. Also, if all you did was read this story, thanks for that too. It might sound cheesy, but it really is what keeps me writing. 
> 
> Alright, enjoy this angsty mess. Fasten your seatbelts lmao.

“Can I stop by today? Just to talk with him a bit and keep him company?”

It’s Saturday, so Mark doesn’t have school. After yesterday’s incident in the hospital, he really wants to see Donghyuck again. 

Johnny sets his mug of coffee down on the kitchen counter of his and Mark’s apartment. The room is dead quiet, except for the faint sound of water running in the next room over. Ten must be in the shower.

“Please, hyung? I just need to know that he’s okay,” pleads Mark.

“Mark-ah, I’m proud of you for being so concerned about him. I’m just not sure if it’s a good idea for you to visit today. I’m starting him on another round of chemo as soon as I clock in. He’s not going to be feeling too good.”

“Then today is the perfect day for me to visit. He would probably love to have someone there for him today,” replies Mark defiantly. 

Johnny sighs.

“Alright, fine. You can stop by later if you really want to. Don’t be disappointed if he’s too sick to accept visitors, though, okay?” Johnny sets his mug in the sink and grabs his jacket, “I gotta get going. Ten is off work today, so please let him rest. He’s exhausted. Love you, Mark-ah.”

And with that, Johnny is gone.

Mark feels pretty pleased with himself, but there’s a sudden sense of apprehension washing over him. He’s elated that he’ll be able to see Donghyuck later. He’ll _finally_ get to properly meet him. 

Mark really wants to become close with Donghyuck because he knows what it’s like to not have anyone. He would’ve _killed_ to have a friend to keep him company after the death of his parents. Now he has Renjun, though, and he couldn’t be more grateful. Now it’s Donghyuck’s turn for a friend.

All the while, Mark wonders what he’s really getting himself into. He ends up going back to his bedroom and pulling out his laptop to do as much research as possible about Donghyuck’s condition.

He needs to be ready.

~

“Alright, Donghyuck, remember what we discussed? You’ll be getting chemotherapy every other day for the next two weeks, and then you’ll have a two week rest period. On Thursday, I gave you a low dose of chemo just so we could see how your body would react to it. Today will be the first real day of the cycle. This dose is a little bit higher than the one I gave you before. Are you ready?”

Donghyuck can’t bring himself to look Johnny in the eye.

“Can we just wait like five more minutes? Jaehyun told me he’d be here,” he says weakly.

“Of course. Just let me know when you’re ready,” says Johnny politely.

Jaehyun never shows up.

Donghyuck wants to punch the wall. _What kind of brother pulls shit like this when you’re dying?_

A wave of realization hits Donghyuck as Johnny pushes him down the hall in his wheelchair. There are tears forming in his eyes because he knows _exactly_ why Jaehyun is doing this. Jaehyun watched their mother die two months ago, and he doesn’t want to go through that again. He won’t watch Donghyuck die. Not if he can avoid it. 

Johnny is saying something to him, but Donghyuck doesn’t hear it. He can’t hear anything. The only thing Donghyuck can acknowledge is the loud rush of his brother’s betrayal ringing in his ears. 

Jaehyun loved him. He always did. He probably still does, but to Donghyuck, it sure doesn’t feel like it.

Johnny helps Donghyuck into a comfy chair in the treatment room and offers him a blanket and a pillow.

Donghyuck is visibly upset, and Johnny must notice because he pauses as he’s about to put the IV in his arm.

“Donghyuck-ah, I’m gonna need you to take a few deep breaths for me. You need to calm down. If you’re nervous and upset, the the side effects will be worse. Trust me,” whispers Johnny, and all Donghyuck can do is comply. He takes three deep breaths and squeezes his eyes shut as the IV enters his arm.

The act of receiving the treatment isn’t really all that bad. The cocktail of drugs he’s on makes him feel a bit woozy, but otherwise, the process is relatively painless. His arm tingles a bit as the chemicals enter his veins, but that’s pretty much the extent of his discomfort.

Donghyuck sits in his chair in the treatment room wallowing in self-pity for about an hour before he falls asleep.

When he wakes up, he’s surprised to see that he’s back in his hospital bed. _Was the chemo a dream?_

“You’re awake! How are you feeling? You did well,” says Johnny. He hadn’t even realized Johnny was in the room, but, sure enough, the tall doctor was standing in the corner of the room scribbling on a clipboard.

_So it wasn’t a dream._

“I feel pretty okay right now,” says Donghyuck, and he means it. Besides feeling a little weak, he feels pretty normal.

He knows it won’t last, though.

And it doesn’t.

A couple of hours later, Donghyuck hits a wall. The concoction of drugs he was given with the chemo start wearing off, and Donghyuck _wants to die._

His bones are aching furiously, and his stomach is doing somersaults. He’s just finished puking for the fourth time in the past hour, and he can’t even _look_ at the bowl of mashed potatoes the nurse left on his bedside table. They probably won’t take the bowl away until he at least tries to eat some of it, but he just can’t bring himself to. He’s never felt nausea this intense in his life, and he doesn’t want to give his stomach a reason to cause him more misery.

It turns out that Donghyuck can’t afford the fancy, high end painkillers and anti-nausea meds. His insurance only covers the off-brand stuff. Plus, he doesn’t feel comfortable asking Johnny for more medication. He knows his doctor already pulled a few strings so he could stay in the hospital rather than go home to an empty apartment. Maybe he’ll be able to use some of Jaehyun’s money. He seems to be working an awful lot, so he’s gotta have some money, right?

Donghyuck almost laughs in spite of his anguish. 

He’s trying to twist himself into a position that doesn’t make his limbs ache when he hears the door open. 

An unfamiliar boy with dark hair walks in slowly and _oh my god is that the guy that came to his rescue yesterday when he fell off his bed?_

He’d really wanted to forget about that incident, but he has a nasty bruise on his side to remind him of it.

The boy stops a few feet from the end of Donghyuck’s bed.

“Sorry to intrude. My name is Mark. Do you remember me?”

“Yeah, how could I not? You pretty much saved my ass yesterday,” laughs Donghyuck. His laugh quickly turns into a cough, but he’s able to get it under control before it turns into a retch. “What are you doing in my room?”

“Uh...your doctor is my brother, so I come here a lot. And I just...I just thought maybe you’d like some company.”

As much as Donghyuck hates that this boy is seeing him at his worst, he can’t bring himself to turn the boy away. Truthfully, he does kind of wish he had someone to talk to.

“Alright, then, pull up a chair. My name is Donghyuck.” 

His voice is scratchy and rough, but Mark doesn’t seem to mind. He grabs a folding chair from the corner of the room and sets it next to Donghyuck’s bed. Donghyuck turns himself onto his side so he’s facing Mark. He visibly winces as he does so, and he’s sure Mark notices.

“So, what do you do for fun around here?” asks Mark, and Donghyuck chuckles. He’s grateful that Mark didn’t bring up his obvious discomfort.

“I mostly read books and listen to music,” says Donghyuck, “There’s not much else to do around here.”

“What kind of music?” asks Mark. He sounds genuinely interested.

“Have you ever heard of Michael Jackson?”

“Of course I have.”

“He’s kind of my idol. My best friend Jaemin introduced me to his music a few years ago,” says Donghyuck fondly. It’s been a few weeks since he’s spoken to Jaemin. He wonders how he’s doing.

Mark scrunches his face up in what looks like confusion and says, “Na Jaemin?”

_Wait, what? Does he know Jaemin?_

“Uh, yeah. That’s the one,” he says. He’s starting to feel nauseous again.

“I think I’ve met him before. My best friend Renjun knows him,” says Mark.

Well, _that_ would explain it. Jaemin did date a boy named Renjun a few months ago.

“Did you go to school with Jaemin?” asks Mark, and Donghyuck has to take a deep breath to settle his stomach.

“Yeah, I went to that high school across from Panda Express before...before all this,” says Donghyuck.

“I go there too! How old are you?” asks Mark a little too excitedly.

“I’m seventeen,” says Donghyuck, “How about you?” 

Mark smirks a little bit, “I’m eighteen. I guess you’ll be calling me ‘hyung’ then.”

All this talking is starting to wear Donghyuck out. He feels overwhelmingly fatigued, and he can feel the nausea coming back at full force. He just kind of stops talking for a minute so he can catch his breath, and Mark must be able to sense that he needs a break. The boy pulls out his phone and starts texting, so Donghyuck takes the opportunity to lay back down.

He’s not able to stay relaxed for long, though, because he can feel his stomach starting to convulse.

“Hyung,” he says, and Mark looks up in shock. He probably wasn’t expecting Donghyuck to call him that so soon.

“Please hand me the bin under the bed. I’m going to be sick,” he says quickly, and, thankfully, Mark does what he’s told. 

Donghyuck starts gagging forcefully into the waste bin and, _fuck_ , Mark is probably going to be disgusted with him. 

_Why did he have throw up now?_

He continues vomiting for a few more minutes and _is someone rubbing his back?_

He spits one more time before bringing his head back out of the bin.

Donghyuck feels disgusting, and he’s sure he looks disgusting.

“I’m sorry,” he says scratchily, but Mark just shakes his head.

“No worries. Do you want me to call my brother?”

Donghyuck shakes his head gently and laughs humorlessly, “No, it’s okay. It’s becoming a pretty normal thing for me.”

“I wish it wasn’t,” says Mark. He’s still rubbing Donghyuck’s back even though he’s not vomiting anymore.

He doesn’t really want him to stop, though. Human contact feels good, and Donghyuck hasn’t had much of that lately.

“Yeah, me too,” says Donghyuck.

He ends up falling asleep with Mark’s hand rubbing soothing circles on his back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks! Hope you enjoyed this. Also, I hope you got through this chapter without crying. I barely did.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suffered a really, really bad bout of writer's block while trying to get this chapter done. I am so sorry.
> 
> TW: There is a brief mention of a past suicide in this chapter. It is not graphic at all.

The next few weeks are difficult.

No, _difficult_ would be an understatement.

His days are clouded with unpleasantries. It’s like his life has become a mess of pain, loneliness, and _too much time._

Laying in a hospital bed almost all day for two weeks straight has given him way too much time to think.

Donghyuck finds himself contemplating things he never really thought about before. At first, the idea of having so much free time had excited him. Maybe he’d finally be able to watch that drama Jaemin recommended to him. Maybe he’d finally be able to read the comic book Jaehyun had given him for his birthday a few months back.

Sure, Donghyuck did have time for those things, but he also had time to think about how he might be dead within the year.

Thinking about his impending death was not fun. Not even a little bit. 

Jaehyun visits him every once in a while, but never looks him in the eye. Jaemin has been around a few times, but he has a life of his own to worry about. 

The only constant factor in his life has been Mark.

Mark comes by for an hour or so every day after school. Donghyuck isn’t really sure why the boy has taken interest in him, but he doesn’t dwell on it much. Donghyuck is really grateful for Mark’s presence, even if all he can do is sit beside him and hold a bin to his chest as he vomits.

Things are looking up, though, despite the past two weeks of absolute hell Donghyuck has had to endure. He’s had two weeks of treatment, which means he now gets two weeks of rest. 

He was looking forward to not feeling excruciatingly achy and fatigued. He was _definitely_ looking forward to not forcibly puking up everything he ate. 

Even so, Donghyuck still found that he had a big consequence to face after finishing up his first cycle of chemo.

Donghyuck’s hair finally started falling out in clumps the night before. He knew he was going to have to shave his head at some point, but the thought of having to do it so suddenly made him feel even more nauseous than before.

All of this led up to the incredibly awkward situation Donghyuck currently found himself in. He’s standing in front of the spotless mirror in the small bathroom attached to his hospital room. The room is stark white and the harsh light nearly blinds him. He _knows_ his hands are shaking and, _fuck_ , he’s not going to be able to do this himself.

He’s holding a cheap electric razor in his right hand. Jaehyun is standing in the doorway of the bathroom and _can’t he just go away?_

“Let me, Hyuck,” Jaehyun says slowly. Donghyuck can’t believe this shit.

He doesn’t reply. He doesn’t even turn to look at his brother. He just sticks his trembling hand out in Jaehyun’s general direction and lets him take the razor from his fingers. Jaehyun’s hands guide him over to the toilet. Donghyuck stares at the floor and lets Jaehyun force him to sit down on the covered seat.

For a few minutes, Jaehyun works silently. Clumps of Donghyuck’s hair fall onto the white tiled floor and Jaehyun drags the razor across his scalp. 

Soon after, there are tears falling to the floor along with the stray pieces of hair.

“It’ll grow back, Hyuck. It will,” says Jaehyun as he finishes up and sets the razor on the counter.

“Not if I’m dead,” Donghyuck spits back.

He regrets it the second the words leave his lips. Jaehyun flinches. 

“Look, I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry I’ve been such prick but can you put yourself in my shoes for just a second? We _just_ lost mom. She fucking _killed_ herself, Donghyuck. I’m doing the best that I can.”

The tears are cascading down Donghyuck’s cheeks thickly now. He doesn’t even try to stem the flow. There’s no point.

“I need you here, Jaehyun. We can help each other. All you have to do is be here for me. I’m tired of you acting like I’m about to shatter,” says Donghyuck weakly.

Jaehyun just nods at that. And for the first time in a long time, he looks Donghyuck right in the eye.

“I’ll try to be a better brother. I promise.”

Donghyuck decides to take what he can get.

~

Mark realizes that this is the first time he’s ever actually seen Donghyuck eat.

He decides not to count the few times in the past two weeks he’s seen Donghyuck put a couple of crackers in his mouth before immediately spitting them out.

Now, Donghyuck is actually eating like he’s hungry. He’s sitting up in his hospital bed practically _inhaling_ a sandwich, and Mark feels like he’s been transported to some sort of alternate universe. 

Some alternate universe where Donghyuck isn’t dying. 

Mark suddenly wishes he was _actually_ living in a different world.  
“Hyung, can I ask you something?” says Donghyuck between mouthfuls of bread and ham.

Mark’s head jolts up at the sound of Donghyuck’s voice. His voice isn’t laced with discomfort this time, and he actually doesn’t sound like he’s about to fade away to nothing.

“Of course,” says Mark because, well, what else is he supposed to say?

“Why are you hanging out with me? You didn’t even know me at school.”

Oh shit.

Mark had been expecting this question to come up sooner or later, but that didn’t mean he was actually prepared to answer it. 

“Johnny’s not really supposed to disclose personal information about his patients, but he—he told me about your parents and I just...I thought you could use a friend because I know what it’s like. To feel so alone, I guess,” says Mark nervously.

_Fuck_. He was rambling, wasn’t he?

Donghyuck gently sets the half of the sandwich he’d been working on on the paper plate on his bedside table.

“How much did he tell you about my parents?”

Mark kind of shrugs. He really didn’t know much.

“Just that they’re not around, I guess,” he says. Donghyuck winces.

He winces.

“Does something hurt?” asks Mark, suddenly flung into a panicked frenzy.

“No. I’m just surprised. There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Mark Lee,” says Donghyuck. He says it almost coldly, and Mark wonders if she shouldn’t have brought up the boy’s family.

He probably shouldn’t have. _Fuck_. He just brought up Donghyuck’s dead parents in front of him. 

In a last-ditch attempt to redeem himself, Mark opens his mouth again.

“I do know that you look really good in that beanie.”

Donghyuck laughs, and Mark feels a sense of accomplishment well up inside him.

“You’re just saying that because this is _your_ beanie.”

“It looks better on you than it ever did on me. That’s why I gave it to you,” says Mark, and Donghyuck blushes.

“I have two weeks of rest starting today, and I really want to get out of here. Think you could help me with that?” asks Donghyuck teasingly.

“Honestly, Donghyuck, I thought you’d never ask. I am going to give you the best two weeks of your life before your next cycle of chemo,” says Mark, and he means it.

Donghyuck grabs his sandwich off of the plate again and takes another bite.

“Don’t let me down,” he says.

Mark wouldn’t dream of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks y'all  
> I'm really trying with this fic. Please believe me.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to Donghyuck's gorgeous, amazing, beautiful lines in Simon Says. I'm so sorry you guys had to wait so long for this chapter, but I hope all of my American readers had an amazing Thanksgiving. Love you all :)

Mark wants to be as prepared as possible for his first real day with Donghyuck. 

His first real _date_ with Donghyuck? Mark isn’t sure. There’s a lot he isn’t sure about.

It’s this mass of dubious thoughts that puts Mark in the rather awkward position he’s in right now.

“I just need to know what I _shouldn’t_ say to him,” he says, and Ten purses his lips.

The two of them are sitting across from each other at their kitchen table. Johnny was still at work, but Ten had returned home a few hours ago. Mark _needs_ everything to be perfect for tomorrow. Donghyuck deserves a relaxing, fun, pain-free day.

He deserves it more than anyone.

“I don’t know what he’s going through, and I know you’ve seen plenty of patients like him before. Please help me out here,” Mark begs.

Ten takes a big swig from his mug of coffee and sighs.

“What do you want to know?” asks Ten. His coffee mug clanks against the table.

“Anything that could help me give him the break he deserves,” says Mark.

Ten considers his request for a few seconds before glancing down at the floor. Mark can’t help but wonder if it’s difficult for him to talk about his patients. He probably doesn’t spend much time thinking about his patients outside of the hospital. He probably can’t afford to think too much about such depressing things.

“Just...don’t ask him if he’s okay. That’ll probably upset him.”  
_What?_

“Why?” Mark asks. Shouldn’t Donghyuck be happy to know that someone cares about his well being?

“Because he’s _not_ okay and he won’t want to be reminded of it. Even if he doesn’t appear to be in any pain, he’s always hurting. He’s having a lot of problems with his brother, and in less than two weeks, he’s going to go back to being sick all the time. Donghyuck isn’t okay, and he won’t be for a long time,” says Ten slowly, “He might never be okay again if the chemo fails us.”

With that, Ten gets up and walks out of the room. He gives Mark a soft pat on the shoulder before walking out the door.

Mark pretends he doesn’t see the tears in his eyes.

He didn’t know Ten _truly_ cared for the boy.

There’s just _so much_ he doesn’t know about Donghyuck.

~

“How are you feeling today, Donghyuck? Any pain anywhere? You look pretty good. There’s more color in your cheeks. You should be able to go out today since you have two weeks before we start up the chemo again.”

Donghyuck shifts in his hospital bed. He likes Johnny a lot. He’s optimistic, caring, and he talks a lot. Donghyuck doesn’t talk much, and he likes that Johnny usually talks enough for the both of them.

“I’m good. My side is a bit sore but I probably just slept on it weird or something— _oh._ ”

He thoughtlessly lifts up his shirt to look at his side and sees a huge, ugly bruise extending from the base of his ribs all the way to his hip bone.

“Bruising like this is completely normal for someone with your condition. I’ll fetch you some ice for it,” says Johnny.

For Donghyuck, the words go into one ear and right out the other. First, he lost his health. Then, he lost his hair. Now, he’s losing his previously flawless caramel skin.

It’s beginning to feel a lot like Donghyuck just keeps _losing._

He doesn’t want to lose his fight with leukemia. No, _anything_ but that. 

~

Johnny gives Mark permission to take Donghyuck to the park a few miles from the hospital. The weather is nice, and the park isn’t usually too crowded. He’d initially wanted to go to the mall, but Johnny had vetoed that idea right away. Busy, crowded places produced and accommodated a _lot_ of germs. Germs were the last thing Donghyuck needed right now.

Mark spreads a large plaid blanket out over the shaded grass underneath a tree. He’s brought a picnic basket full of a highly diverse assortment of snacks, as he isn’t entirely sure what Donghyuck likes to eat. 

Donghyuck is sitting cross-legged on the blanket with Mark beside him. Donghyuck takes a deep, slow breath and closes his eyes.

Mark is about to spit out a panicked _are you okay?_ when he remembers what Ten had told him. Instead, he puts a gentle hand on Donghyuck’s back.

Donghyuck shakes his head lightly. He’s sporting a beanie of his own this time. It’s gray with a singular black stripe decorating the side. Mark thinks it makes Donghyuck look exceptionally adorable.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve breathed air like this. It feels so good to be outside, hyung. You have _no idea._ ”

No. Mark really doesn’t have any idea.

He opens the picnic basket and pulls out a container of apple slices. He holds the dish out to Donghyuck, and, to Mark’s delight, the boy takes some of the fruit.

“I was hoping you could help me understand what you’re going through. You know, so we can get closer. I want to know more about you, Donghyuck,” says Mark.

Donghyuck is chewing his apple slice agonizingly slowly, and Mark wonders if he’s not a big fan of apples. Google had told him healthy foods like fruits and vegetables were good for cancer patients.

Before Mark has the chance to offer Donghyuck a different snack, Donghyuck opens his mouth.

“Well, it’s pretty fucked up, really. Are you sure you want to hear it?”

Mark nods.

“My dad drank himself to death a few years ago. He used to get into fights with my brother a lot. He was sober for a while, but he caught me making out in my room with a boy from school. He pretty much flipped his shit after that, but Jaehyun stood up for me. Then, one night, my mom found him dead in a pile of his own vomit. Alcohol poisoning, you know? My mom was devastated,” Donghyuck says.

_What the fuck?_

“And then, um...she was fine for a while, but she got pretty bad a few months ago. Jaehyun, uh, found her dead in our bathroom a couple of months ago. It was right after my diagnosis.”

Donghyuck’s voice shakes slightly, but he keeps himself together. Mark is shocked and horrified by Donghyuck’s story, but he tries not to let it show. 

He takes Donghyuck’s hand in his own and chooses his words carefully.

“I’m so sorry, Donghyuck. I really am. If there’s _anything_ me or Johnny or Ten can do to help you, all you have to do is say the word,” Mark hesitates slightly before gaining the courage to continue, “You need to understand that we all care about you and want you to be healthy again. _I_ care about you, Donghyuck.

With that, he scoots closer to Donghyuck on the blanket and pulls him into a hug. The smaller boy immediately hugs him back, and Mark wants to cry.

_When was the last time someone hugged him?_

Mark ends up pulling away first, but when Donghyuck makes a small, pitiful noise of annoyance, he pulls Donghyuck in again.

This time, though, he pulls Donghyuck in for a kiss. His lips are dry and a bit chapped, but Mark doesn’t care. Donghyuck kisses him back, and Mark trusts that Donghyuck can taste the hope on his lips.

The hope that Donghyuck makes a thorough recovery.

The hope that Mark is granted an everlasting relationship with Donghyuck because, right now, that’s all he longs for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading this sad mess. Leave me some feedback if you feel like it. I'll see you all next time!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took SO long I'm so sorry. To be fair, school is kicking my ass right now and I have hella finals to study for. Just one more week, though, and I get to go home for a month. Yay! I hope you all did well on your exams and are looking forward to the holidays. All of you lovelies deserve a good break.
> 
> This chapter is heavy on the angst, but you shouldn't be surprised. All I do is write angst and whump with the occasional dash of fluff. Thanks so much for still reading this haha.
> 
> If you want to talk, hit me up on tumblr at voidstrays.tumblr.com because I would really love to talk about writing or NCT or whatever. Thanks!

The next two weeks go by much more quickly than Mark would have liked. The interactions he has with Donghyuck had suddenly become much more meaningful. Ever since he shared that kiss with Donghyuck in the park that day, Donghyuck has been much more open with him. 

The two of them had gone for a walk downtown together a few days back, and for the first time ever, Donghyuck admitted to Mark that he was in pain. They’d had to stop and take a break because Donghyuck’s joints were aching to the point where his limbs began to shake from the pain. Donghyuck had had his back against the brick wall of a coffee shop in a narrow alleyway. He’d slid down the wall with a look of utter defeat clouding his features, and Mark felt an influx of pity flow through him.

_It’s just not fair._

Now, though, Donghyuck is sitting safely beside Mark at Mark’s kitchen table. Donghyuck would be starting chemo again tomorrow morning, and Johnny suggested that Donghyuck spend the night at their place so he can get a good night’s rest. It can be hard to sleep in a hospital all the time.

Ten prepared a lovely dinner of homemade ramen, and Mark can’t stop his mouth from watering when a bowl is placed in front of him. He digs in almost immediately, but when he looks over at Donghyuck, he stops.

Donghyuck isn’t eating. In fact, he’s looking at the bowl of ramen in front of him with a guilty, shameful expression.

“Donghyuck, are you feeling sick?” asks Johnny gently from across the table.

Donghyuck shakes his head and shifts a little in his chair.

“I feel bad eating this if...if I’m just going to puke it up tomorrow,” says Donghyuck. He turns his eyes to the floor, “I feel like I’m wasting all this food that Ten worked hard on.”

Mark watches as Johnny sets down his chopsticks and gives Ten a delicate nod.

“Donghyuck, _nothing_ is wasted on you, do you understand? I made this food because I _want_ you to eat it, and you need to keep your strength up. Eat all you want and don’t feel guilty about it, okay?” says Ten softly.

Donghyuck nods and picks up his chopsticks. Mark doesn’t take his eyes off of him until he sees the younger boy take a bite.

~

Donghyuck feels weird that night. He supposes it could have something to do with the overwhelming dread swirling around in his stomach. He really isn’t looking forward to tomorrow. Donghyuck feels like he’s being childish and weak for acting like this, but he really can’t help it. 

He really doesn’t want to spend the next two weeks with throbbing muscles and a relentless stomach ache. 

_What can he do, though?_

_Absolutely nothing._

“Are you tired?” Mark suddenly asks him, and Donghyuck snaps back to reality.

“Yeah, kinda. Can we lay down?” he says, and Mark nods.

They head up to Mark’s room and change into their pajamas after dinner, and Donghyuck doesn’t hesitate to crawl into Mark’s bed when he offers it up.

The floor would be too cold, anyway.

Donghyuck curls up against Mark and he’s grateful when Mark takes his hand in his own.

They should go to sleep, but Donghyuck can’t stop the tears that spill out from his eyes. 

“What’s the matter, Hyuck?” whispers Mark.

Donghyuck thinks he probably already knows.

“I’m scared, hyung. I don’t think I’m cut out for this.”

He sniffs and tries to choke back the tears, but they won’t stop coming. So, Donghyuck stops fighting them. Maybe he needs a good cry.  
Mark starts rubbing his back again, just like he’d done when Donghyuck got sick in the hospital the first day they’d properly met. 

“It’s okay, Hyuck. It’s okay to be scared. I’m right here with you, okay?” says Mark.

Donghyuck buries his face in Mark’s shoulder and lets the sobs wrack his body. Maybe he can do this. With Mark by his side, he certainly should be able to, right?

He sure hopes so.

Donghyuck falls asleep that night breathing in Mark’s calming scent. He doesn’t stay awake long enough to see that Mark is crying, too.

~

“I’m going to start you on a different type on anti-nausea meds this time, if that’s okay. These ones are a little stronger, so they should alleviate some more of your discomfort. You’re probably still going to feel sick later, but these should at least make the vomiting more manageable. Are you ready?”

Donghyuck nods. He wonders what _manageable vomiting_ means to Johnny. The two of them probably have different definitions of _manageable_ , but he decides not to ask.

Mark had offered to stay with Donghyuck while he receives his chemo today, and Donghyuck is honestly excited to have someone there with him this time. Maybe if he stays awake during the treatment process, he’ll be more tired later. Maybe if he’s more tired later, he can sleep through the worst of the acute nausea.

Probably not, but he can dream, right?

Mark ends up bringing a huge stack of coloring books with him to the hospital because “I like to color when I’m feeling anxious, so I figured you would too!”

He’s so fucking sweet that Donghyuck can barely handle it. For the first couple of hours of the treatment, Mark talks to him animatedly about everything from school to sports while they color together. He’s almost done coloring in a pretty impressive picture of a dragon when he feels his phone start vibrating on his thigh.

Donghyuck reaches for his phone and sees that Mark has looked up from the picture of a castle he’d been coloring. The caller ID reads “Jaehyun hyung,” and Donghyuck freezes.

He feels Mark put a hand on his shoulder and whisper something that sounds like “you don’t have to answer it,” but it’s too late.

Donghyuck has already made up his mind. He gives the screen a swipe and answers the call. 

A few seconds later, he wishes he hadn’t.

“Hyuck,” Jaehyun’s voice cracks, “I lost my job.”

Donghyuck’s heart skips a beat.

“What do you mean?” he spits. _This can’t be happening._

“I got let go this morning, Hyuck.”

Donghyuck shuts his eyes because this can’t happen. They already have next to no money, and if Jaehyun stops getting paid—Donghyuck doesn’t even want to think about what could happen. So, he hangs up the phone.

The moment he does so, he feels himself start to have a panic attack. Mark is saying something to him, but he can’t hear a thing. Everything starts to get blurry, and he thinks he sees Johnny enter the room. Donghyuck feels something prick his arm and his mind grows even foggier than before. His muscles start to relax and he _wants_ to say something, but he _can’t._

After a few more seconds, his vision goes black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am v sorry


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I am sorry for the wait. However, things start to get better and fluffier in this chapter so get ready for the fluffiest markhyuck ever :))))

“Stress takes a great toll on all of our bodies, especially Donghyuck’s. His body is already very weak,” explains Johnny.

Mark nods slowly with his eyes glued to the cold hospital floor. He can’t bring himself to look his brother in the eye. He’s too fragile for confrontation of any kind right now.

“Do you know what his brother said to him on the phone that triggered his panic attack?” continues Johnny gently.

Mark shakes his head.

No. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t even want to know.

He just wants to know that Donghyuck is going to be okay. It’s been hours, and he still hasn’t woken up. The scene of Donghyuck suddenly lurching forward on the armchair in the treatment room keeps replaying in his mind. Mark had caught him before he hit the floor, but his IV had nearly been ripped from his arm. Thankfully, it hadn’t been pulled on enough to cause any bleeding. 

After Donghyuck had fainted, Mark had hurriedly pressed the call button on the wall. A nurse was in the room seconds later to check Donghyuck over. She was acting disturbingly calm about what had just happened, and the scene made Mark feel nauseous. 

“It’s okay,” she had said, “Patients pass out or fall asleep during chemo all the time.”

Mark can’t help but think that this is a different case. The boy had fainted almost immediately after he picked up the phone. Jaehyun must have said something that caused him distress.

For some reason Mark didn’t understand, the nurse allowed Donghyuck to continue receiving his treatment while unconscious. Now, hours after his round of chemo had been finished, Donghyuck was laying unconscious in the bed in his hospital room.

“Whatever happened, we’ll help him through it. We’ve come this far, Mark. We’re not giving up now,” says Johnny.

Mark nods. He knows his brother is right. He just feels so _hopeless_ after seeing Donghyuck pass out like that. For a few seconds, he’d genuinely wondered if the younger boy had _died._

He needs to clear his head. Mark knows he can’t dwell on that thought. It’ll ruin him if he does.

Mark excuses himself to the hospital’s courtyard for a breath of fresh air.

~

When Donghyuck wakes up, he’s very confused. He feels sick, but shrugs the feeling off. He feels sick most of the time these days.

The last thing he remembers is coloring an elaborate picture of a dragon from one of Mark’s expensive coloring books and then—

_Oh._

Jaehyun. 

Jaehyun had called saying he lost his job.

Donghyuck takes a deep breath and tries to steady his spastic heartbeat. He can’t afford another panic attack. 

He clenches his eyes shut and steadies out his breathing, listening as his heartbeat calms with each breath. Nothing is going right, but he needs to stay strong. He _needs_ to figure something out.

No job means no income, which means that he and Jaehyun will most certainly be evicted from their apartment in no time. It’s not a _huge_ deal for Donghyuck because he’s been living in the hospital for the past few months, but it is a big deal for Jaehyun. Donghyuck knows his brother doesn’t have anywhere else to go. They don’t even own a car that Jaehyun could sleep in. 

Donghyuck is trying to come up with some sort of solution to this terribly inconvenient problem when an intrusive thought crosses his mind.

Finding Jaehyun a place to live is not his problem. His only problem right now is his cancer. He needs to focus on receiving treatment and maintaining his health.

Jaehyun is a grown man, Donghyuck realizes. He can sort out his own problems. After all, Donghyuck has been sorting out his own problems every since his mother died. 

He knows he can’t focus on beating leukemia if he’s worried about his brother, so he makes a bold decision.

Donghyuck squirms in his hospital bed and reaches for his cellphone on the nightstand beside his bed. He winces as a threatening wave of nausea courses through him, but the sudden discomfort doesn’t cause his actions to waver.

Donghyuck’s thumb is hovering over Jaehyun’s contact in his phone. Before he can change his mind, he taps the block contact button.

He loves Jaehyun. He really does, but right now Donghyuck knows he has to put himself first.

~

The next day, Donghyuck decides to tell Mark the truth about his panic attack, his fainting spell, and his decision to block Jaehyun out of his life. 

All the while, Mark stays silent. He doesn’t interrupt Donghyuck or tell him he’s being fucking _stupid._ Instead, he listens carefully and gently pats Donghyuck on the knee when he pauses for a breath.

Mark is amazing. 

As the days drag on, things start looking up for Donghyuck. The new nausea meds Johnny gave him are actually _working._ He hasn’t been puking nearly as many times as he used to after his chemo sessions, and Johnny tells him that the treatments appear to working.

His cancer is still there, of course, but Johnny informs him that it’s becoming less aggressive.

Donghyuck takes that as a win.

Mark shows up with his laptop an hour later and insists that the two of them spend the rest of the day watching movies on Netflix to celebrate the good news. The older boy is about to pull a chair up to the side of the hospital bed when Donghyuck opens his mouth to protest.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Mark stops in his tracks and turns to face Donghyuck.

“I’m just grabbing a chair. So I can, you know, sit down,” says Mark slowly.

Donghyuck rolls his eyes.

“Mark, this bed is big enough for both of us. Besides, how are we supposed to watch movies properly if I’m in a bed and you’re in a chair?”

Donghyuck watches in satisfaction as heat starts to pool in Mark’s cheeks as a pink blush creeps up his neck.

“Come on, Mark, don’t get all shy now. I literally slept in your bed last week,” continues Donghyuck.

Mark just kind of looks at him for a second before nodding his head and making his way towards Donghyuck’s hospital bed. He curls up next to Donghyuck without protest, and Donghyuck is quick to nuzzle his face into the crook of Mark’s shoulder.

Mark smells of pine and mint, and it’s a nice change from the sickly antiseptic odor that seems to seep through the hospital’s walls.

They’re halfway through _To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before_ when Mark pauses the movie and turns to look Donghyuck in the eye

“Hyuck, do you want to be my boyfriend?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please drop a comment with some feedback if ya want. Thanks for reading :D


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my beautiful readers.
> 
> It has been a very, very long time. I know. I am so, so sorry. Life is getting so crazy, guys. I only have 4 weeks of school left and then I will officially have completed my first year of college. I will be traveling to Spain next year, as I have been admitted to my school's study abroad program. Today is also my half birthday, haha. It's all happening.
> 
> Anyway, please enjoy this chapter. There are only a few chapters to go for this fic. After I complete this one, I plan to finish my other work in progress, "smithereens," and then start a markhyuck omegaverse fic. I hope you look forward to it! Please leave me a comment if you enjoy this chapter. Or, leave me a comment even if you don't enjoy it. I love talking to you guys.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and please know that I am grateful for all of you!

It’s amazing really, how such a simple question can mean _so much_ to someone.

After his diagnosis, Donghyuck did not think he would ever get to have a boyfriend. He didn’t think he’d ever be able to convince someone new to love him, or even like him. 

He didn’t really think anyone would want to be around him at all. After all, he’s confined to a hospital bed most of the time. He thinks he probably smells like disinfectant or pharmaceuticals or even vomit.

Donghyuck supposes none of that really matters to Mark, and he admires him for it. 

Part of him wants to turn Mark down, though. Mark deserves someone whole. Someone healthy.

Donghyuck hopes he can make up for his deteriorating health by giving Mark just as much happiness as Mark gives to him.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’d love to be your boyfriend, hyung.”

Mark beams at him and scoots a few inches closer. He puts a gentle hand on Donghyuck’s thigh before resuming the movie. 

For the first time in his life, Donghyuck feels unstoppable.

~

Mark is just barely dozing off when Johnny slips through the door. Donghyuck has been sleeping soundly since they finished their movie, so Mark’s just been scrolling aimlessly through his instagram feed in the meantime. He’s looking at one of those arts and crafts accounts. He really wants to find something fun he can surprise Donghyuck with in the hospital, but all he can find are DIY slime recipes. For some reason, Mark doesn’t think Donghyuck would be interested in making slime during a date.

Something’s off with Johnny, though. He doesn’t shoot Mark a smile when he sees him like he usually does. Instead, he sets his clipboard down on the counter across from Donghyuck’s bed with a sigh.

Mark’s heart skips a beat.

He tries to tell himself that Johnny’s just tired or something. But now, he’s looking at Mark with an expression full of absolute anguish.

Whatever is happening just _can’t_ be good. 

Without a word, Mark carefully unwraps his arm from around Donghyuck’s shoulders. He takes care not to wake the boy, but he doesn’t really need to. Donghyuck is out like a light.

Mark walks right towards the door and opens it slowly. Johnny seems to understand exactly what his brother wants because Mark doesn’t need to make a sound. Johnny steps into the hallway and Mark follows, closing the door softly behind them.

“What is it, hyung?”

Johnny takes a deep breath, and Mark feels like he’s going to throw up.

“Donghyuck needs a stem cell transplant.”

Donghyuck needs a _what?_

Mark doesn’t understand. He thought the chemo was working. He thought Donghyuck was improving.

“You told him his leukemia was getting less aggressive. You told me the chemo was helping. Why did you _lie_?”

Mark isn’t sure what made him say it. He knows Johnny didn’t lie. He knows Johnny is doing his best, but he’s just so frustrated right now. Can’t the universe just cut Dongyhuck a break?

Can’t the universe just cut Mark’s _boyfriend_ a break?

Johnny sighs again and glances at the floor.

“His cancer appeared less aggressive because it was travelling. We need to try to eliminate Donghyuck’s leukemia before it has the chance to spread. A stem cell transplant could end in remission, Mark,” says Johnny patiently.

_Remission?_

Mark’s heart skips a beat once again, but this time out of relief rather than fear. 

“That’s amazing, hyung. Why don’t you seem happy, then? This is good news.”

Johnny smiles sadly and takes a few steps closer to the wall. He rests his back against the wall and glances back down at his younger brother.

“Because Donghyuck needs the transplant soon. The leukemia is already getting close to his liver. And…” Johnny hesitates again and Mark wants to scream. 

“And Donghyuck can’t afford it, Mark.”

~

“Insurance won’t cover it?” asks Donghyuck.

He’s sitting in his hospital bed once again, and Johnny is seated on a stool in front of him. 

Johnny had broken the news to him only a few short moments before. Oddly enough, Donghyuck doesn’t feel that upset. He doesn’t feel much of anything. 

Mark is beside him, of course. He hasn’t said much of anything since they finished their movie last night, and now he knows why. 

Mark knew. Johnny must have told him.

“Unfortunately, stem cell transplants are considered ‘experimental’ forms of treatment at this time. Your insurance provider will not cover it for this reason,” says Johnny in his professional “Dr. Johnny” voice.

Donghyuck still catches the way his voice falters, though.

“How much does it cost?”

Johnny hesitates.

He _hesitates._

That’s something Donghyuck hasn’t seen Johnny do much of, and it scares the hell out of him.

“Approximately $500,000. It’s a lot, I know, but we can file an appeal with your insurance company for denying coverage and we can also try a fundraiser.”

Donghyuck isn’t stupid. $500,000 is a lot of money, and he doesn’t have time to try and come up with it. 

He’s accepted his fate, but he hasn’t accepted Mark’s. Mark doesn’t deserve to suffer because of him. Mark doesn’t deserve to lose another important person in his life. Not after he’s already lost both of his parents.

“There’s gotta be someone with $500,000 who would be willing to help. There _has_ to be,” says Mark desperately.

Donghyuck nearly snorts as he tries to stifle his laughter. He turns towards Mark and pulls him close. He doesn’t care that Johnny is sitting _right_ there. If he’s going to die, he’s going to spend the time he has left on this earth cuddling with his new boyfriend. That’s just how it’s gonna be.

“Hyung, I don’t think anyone is going to spend half a million dollars trying to save a dying orphan’s life.”

Mark’s face falls at his comment, and Donghyuck wants to kick himself for making Mark upset. His bones are aching, though, and he really doesn’t want to talk about this anymore. He doesn’t want to think about his impending death. He just wants to lay alone and wallow in self pity before Johnny carts him away for another round of chemo.

“Mark, I think we need to let Donghyuck get some rest. Why don’t you go home for a bit? You can ride home with Ten. His shift is over in a few minutes” Johnny suggests gently. 

Mark doesn’t react at all. He just sits beside Donghyuck with scowl on his face. His eyebrows appear to be scrunched up in concentration, and Donghyuck has no idea what he could be thinking so damn hard about. Honestly, Donghyuck is getting a headache just looking at him.

He supposes his headache probably has more to do with his cancer than his boyfriend’s intense concentration, though.

Suddenly, Mark forcefully jumps to his feet. Donghyuck nearly falls off the bed in shock, but Johnny is quick to catch him.

“Mark, you have to be more careful, you could’ve—”

“Renjun,” says Mark, completely ignoring Johnny’s scolding.

“What?”

Donghyuck briefly recalls meeting Renjun a couple of times. His most notable memory of Renjun was when he and Mark came to his rescue when he’d fallen out of his bed after a nightmare. 

“ _Renjun!_ Renjun has the money. His dad is a very well-respected businessman in China. He could sponsor the transplant!”

Donghyuck is about to tell Mark how ridiculous the plan sounds when he hears Johnny gasp quietly.

“Honestly, Mark, that might just work.”

Mark is looking at him with hopeful, loving eyes, and Donghyuck can’t believe he might actually have a chance at living.

Moments ago, he’d been so certain he was finished.

Mark takes Donghyuck in his arms and Johnny mentions something about getting in touch with Renjun’s family.

Donghyuck doesn’t want to get his hopes up, but Johnny and Mark seem _very_ hopeful about the idea. 

He just really hopes Renjun’s father says yes. He wants more time with Mark before his life comes to an end. 

_No,_ he _needs_ more time with Mark. And Mark deserves more time with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much :))


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a VERY long time and I am extremely sorry. Here's my excuse this time: I'm working full time and taking an online summer class so I can (hopefully) graduate early! Yay! Thank you so much for still reading this fic. And to all my regulars out there, drop a comment letting me know how you are. Even if you aren't a regular, still drop a comment. I love all of you.
> 
> Also, the next chapter will be the last one. Thank you for holding on for this angsty ride!

Mark is trembling _almost_ as much as the leaves on the giant oak tree behind his apartment. His thumb is hovering over the call button on his phone, and he can barely breathe.

It’s now or never, though. Renjun had agreed to give Mark his father’s phone number since the man was currently abroad on a business trip.

“My parents _love_ you, hyung. I’m sure he’ll do everything he can to help,” Renjun had said. 

Mark had felt so confident about his idea the day before, but now, he was worried. _What if Mr. Huang doesn’t sponsor the transplant?_ Then what?

 _Then Donghyuck dies_ , thinks Mark.

What a fucked up world. 

Mark shakes his head in a last-ditch attempt to clear his mind and taps the call button.

~

When Mark enters the kitchen, Ten is putting on a pot of tea. The moment he hears Mark walk into the room, his head shoots up. Johnny is reading a book at the counter with his back to Mark, but he senses his younger brother’s presence nonetheless.

Johnny and Ten are both looking at him now. In fact, they’re looking at him like they’ve just come face to face with a ghost.

“Well?” questions Johnny.

Mark knows he’s crying, but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t even attempt to wipe the tears from his face. He knows he’s probably giving Johnny and Ten the wrong idea, but he can’t help it. He feels so reassured now, and this is an emotion his body hasn’t encountered in quite a while.

“He said he’d do it, hyung. Mr. Huang, he—he said he’d sponsor the transplant,” Mark chokes out. He probably sounds hysterical, but this is _exactly_ what he needed to hear. He _needed_ to hear that Donghyuck is being given another chance at life, and he’s sure Donghyuck needs to hear it even more.

Johnny and Ten exchange a look of shock before simultaneously engulfing Mark in a bone-crushing hug.

“This is great news, Mark,” says Johnny. He has a look on his face that resembles that of a kid in a candy store. 

“Ten, can you go grab my lab coat? I think it’s hanging in the bathroom. I can schedule the transplant for next Monday afternoon—I should probably get going right now. I need to prep Donghyuck for the procedure. Mark, have you seen my wallet?”

Johnny is rambling now, but Mark doesn’t have it in him to tell his brother to stop. Johnny watches kids die all the time, and now he actually has the chance to save one her cares about. He’s probably just as excited as Mark is. 

Ten brings Johnny his lab coat, his suitcase, and his wallet seconds later. 

“Come on, Mark, let’s tell Donghyuck the news,” says Johnny.

So, Mark follows Johnny out of their front door. His heart is pounding so hard in his chest that he wouldn’t be surprised if burst right through his ribcage. 

~

When Mark tells Donghyuck he’s getting the stem cell transplant, it’s almost as if everything around him falls away. His surroundings simply disappear. Everything is gone.

Everything except for him and Mark.

Mark is so _damn_ happy about the news and, deep down, Donghyuck is too. He wants more time with Mark. He wants all the time he can get with his _amazing_ boyfriend.

But then Johnny explains the process of “stem cell transplant prep,” and Donghyuck can’t stay happy for long. For the next several days, Donghyuck has to go through something Johnny calls “conditioning” where he receives an extra high dose of chemo in order to make room in his bone marrow for the new cells he’s receiving. Donghyuck doesn’t really understand it, but he trusts Johnny. He knows a particularly high dose of chemo means he’s going to have an extremely unpleasant couple of days, though.

On the bright side, Johnny informs him that because he is young, he has a much lower chance of rejecting the cells than someone older. His cancer is also relatively new, so that also helps his case.

For Donghyuck, i’s important to at least _try_ to be optimistic in a situation like his.

He knows it’ll all be worth it in the end. After this is all over, assuming he doesn’t die in the process, he might be able to live a normal life with Mark at his side. And that, Donghyuck thinks, is worth suffering the side effects of chemo a hundred times over. 

Now, he just needs to push through the next week. He has Mark, after all, so it can’t be too terrible.

~

Unfortunately, it turns out that it _can_ , in fact, be quite terrible.

The chemo is absolutely kicking Donghyuck’s ass once again, but he’s extremely grateful for the effort Johnny, Mark, and Ten are putting in to make him feel as comfortable as possible. 

Ten had almost thrown a tantrum when he found Donghyuck asleep on the floor in the bathroom attached to his hospital room. 

“What do you think you’re doing? Seriously, this is ridiculous! I’d rather clean your vomit up off the floor than see you lying in there again. You better not leave this bed again, young man!” Ten had said.

Donghyuck thought Ten was being rather dramatic, but he was quick to comply. Ten did, in fact, have to clean his vomit up off the floor a couple times after that. Donghyuck felt guilty about it, but his hands were too shaky to hold onto the bucket. It was pathetic.

And then there was Johnny, who made sure Donghyuck had a freshly heated blanket brought into his room every hour. Donghyuck wasn’t sure how many strings he’d had to pull in order to make that happen, but he was so, so grateful for it. 

Mark was easily the best of them all. He would wait on Donghyuck hand and foot. The boy rarely left Donghyuck’s side, and Donghyuck felt like he was falling in love. He tried to tell himself he was just feeling thankful for everything Mark was doing for him since they met, but that just wasn’t it. He was in love with Mark. He wasn’t in love with the way Mark would spoon-feed him ice chips, or the way he would massage Donghyuck’s stomach when he was feeling nauseous. 

No, he was in love with _Mark._ Just Mark. 

Currently, Mark is curled up next to Donghyuck in his hospital bed. All Donghyuck wants to do is kiss him, but he figures he probably shouldn’t. Not when there’s probably still traces of vomit on his lips.

Instead, he gently reaches for Mark’s hand and gives it a soft squeeze.

“I’m in love with you, hyung. I think I have been for a while, and I think you have too,” he says.

He knows it’s a bold thing to say, but he wouldn’t have said it if he wasn’t sure.

Mark blushes fiercely and pulls Donghyuck closer to him.

“I’m in love with you too, Hyuck. I have been ever since I laid eyes on you. You are so strong, Donghyuck-ah. I hope you know that,” whispers Mark.

There’s a knock at the hospital room’s door then, and Donghyuck is kind of pissed that their moment was interrupted. He assumes it’s just Johnny or Ten, though, so he shouts out a weak “come in!”

If there’s one person Donghyuck is not expecting to see behind the door, it’s his brother. And his brother, Jaehyun, is exactly who’s standing in the doorframe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this! Drop a comment if you feel like it :)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this. It might end up being a long ass ride, so prepare yourselves. Again, thank you for reading and please leave me feedback. I love you all :)


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